So. Habits. The other day I talked about how different they are from resolutions and how much better they are than resolutions…but the one important similarity is the ohmigod are they hard to change!
Two days ago I wrote that I wanted to create a habit of daily writing. One of my other intended habits for the year is to minimize my negative responses to the world around me – less rushing to get angry and stressed, more pausing and processing before I react. In a choreographed and altogether unfunny response, the world has decided to create a maze of negative situations through which I have to navigate, just to see what I’ll do.
I’m trying, but it’s so easy to be negative! It isn’t that I’m yelling and screaming, or biting off anyone’s head (except Brian, sorry honey!); it’s the sweet and evil temptation to make fun of others, to gripe excessively, to just indulge the negative feelings in my head even if I’m not outwardly expressing all of them. While some of those feelings are legitimate, however, as I dwell on them they grow into individual mind monsters that threaten to overtake any semblance of positive thought I can muster.
Somehow, I have the feeling that this is going to be a long, difficult and windy road toward better habits. I’m up for the trip, though, because there’s something soul-sucking about dreading each day and I would rather live free from that kind of pain.